In Which I Get All Preachy and Hypocritical
So, I bought a toaster oven. My budget wasn’t being very cooperative, but those awesome Target people put a decent one on sale for $25 this week, and I snatched that little bitch up.
Ya’ll, I have not had toast since Vegas. Seriously. My toaster met its violent and disgusting end (that I will not divulge here) while I was gone, and I was devastated. I love toast. Toast and eggs, peanut butter toast, hell, when I make a ham sandwich or a tunafish sandwich, or egg salad, I prefer toast. So you can imagine that this was a travesty of unmeasurable proportion, and ending the crisis by purchasing a toaster oven was akin to the end of a war or economic depression.
All I wanted in the whole world was brinner. Two eggs over medium with toast.
At some point in this adventure, I realized that I inadvertently threw my butter out with old leftovers. (which is probably why people don’t reuse their butter containers for leftovers, especially people who sometimes neglect their leftovers to the point that they will not even open the container to make a decision about cleaning or pitching it…)
I went to the store. For butter, and maybe some Nutella, and various breads to toast in my toaster oven.
Of course I found myself standing in the only open cashier lane (they had all the self checkouts closed, which should be illegal), behind a couple in their forties with approximately 42000000 tons of groceries.
As I watched the cashier ring up their order, horror washed over me.
Six apples. A bunch of bananas. One cantaloupe. One whole pineapple. Two steaks. Four loaves of honey wheat bread.
That, lovers, is a complete list of the fresh food in the cart.
The other 380000000 tons, the bulk of the $300 they spent was packaged food.
Frozen pizzas. Frozen enchiladas. Precooked pot roast. Frozen tv dinners- Salisbury steak. Two frozen lasagnas. A few cans of green beans, a few cans of corn. Boxes and cans- frozen, precooked, prepackaged, canned EVERYTHING. The only fresh meal that could be made from $300 worth of groceries were those steaks.
I’m no angel. I love Taco Bell. I eat Doritos. I buy the precooked chicken strips for my salads because protein is good for me, but the point of eating salad is not having to cook.
I try, though. I’ve switched to organic milk, because it tastes better and I swear I feel better for it. When I eat out, I support our local independent places, because the food and the service is better and it’s better for my community and usually better for me. I stay away from most boxes, mixes, pre-made and prepackaged food. Frozen pizza has a permanent home in my freezer, but I only have it about once a pay period. Sure, I buy canned veggies. IN FEBRUARY. You can’t fucking sneeze without hitting a produce stand or a tailgate market here, and hell, even the grocery store features fresh local produce during the growing season.
Here’s the sad part. I’m single. That makes it a little harder to plan meals, to cook meals without producing a lot of wasted leftovers, to find the right portions to buy so that I can use something up before it spoils while still having enough variety in my diet. This bitch has a hungry man to feed, to eat her dinners, to finish off the pan of mac and cheese before it grows a fur coat in the fridge, and she’s MICROWAVING HIS DINNER? FROZEN ENCHILADAS? HOW HARD IS IT TO COOK A FEW CHICKEN BREASTS, SHRED THEM, WRAP THEM IN TORTILLAS WITH REFRIED BEANS AND CHEESE AND BAKE THEM?
It just kind of amazed me that they live that way.
It also reminded me that I could have even better judgment about what kind of food I spend my money on, bring into my home and put into my body. Yes, it was that perfect combination of superiority and disgusted amazement that motivates me to claim even more superiority and disgusted amazement the next time. You know?
12 comments
It could be (unlikely, but humour me) that they have a marriage like my former marriage, where I worked and he stayed home. And when I met him his entire cooking repetoire consisted of Kraft Mac & Cheese. For over a decade I ate Hamburger Helper and OnCor and was just happy that I didn’t have to come home after an 8 hour day and 1.5 hour (each way) commute to cook dinner on top of everything else.
I would also hazard a guess that what you saw was a month’s worth of groceries. And “fresh” doesn’t keep.
I know that there are people who would shake their heads at the fact that I now go grocery shopping weekly and get the fixings for “fresh” meals for the week.
But back to what’s important… how was your toast?
MsDarkstar´s last [type] ..Me? Versatile?
one thing i do that really helps with the leftovers/single person situation is to freeze my leftovers like my own homemade lean cuisines. i’ll cook a recipe for 4 and divide it up and eat one that night, maybe pop one in the fridge and the other 2 in the freezer. that way i can get variety and the rest doesn’t go bad.
Carrie´s last [type] ..Organize your Digital Life
What if…just what if…both of them are the type that burn water when they try to boil it? There are those out there.
Now I want Taco Bell. Thanks.
So, the toaster working out for you?
One of my sisters raised two sons without making a single home-cooked meal, ever. It was strictly heat-and-eat. I’m not even kidding.
Depressing, isn’t it?
RockyCat´s last [type] ..It’s over, it’s over, it’s ohhhhhhver ……
I just had to laugh because I am SO that person who leaves her leftovers in the fridge for weeks, and then, instead of cleaning it out, throws out the containers instead. Laziness FTW!
I also constantly have to buy new containers. So maybe I’m just stupid.
I grocery shop once a week and also have a meal plan. I’m smug enough to say t hat probably 95% of what we buy is fresh. The other 5% is snacks that Billy eats, either with his lunch or after he comes home before dinner is ready. ie: granola bars, crackers, etc.
We’re smug. It’s ok!
Stacey Paradise´s last [type] ..Seriously. WTF?
Now I feel bad for how I’ve been living for the past 8 months since my wife left me. I can count on one hand the number of things I know how to cook. Yes, I can read and follow a recipe real well, but I’ve never had to plan meals, pre-prep, etc. Maybe slowly I’m learning, but is it horrible to be keeping my eye open for a woman with these skills already honed who doesn’t mind using them?
For a guy that likes to cook and usually comes out with passable meals, I share your frozen horror. Ingredients are way cheaper, too! Man. Frozen food all week long. That’s no way to live.
At least they’re not freezing their toast.
nicopolitan´s last [type] ..Not Sleeping In The City That Doesn’t Sleep
No, honey, it’s not. It’s all about what you’ve learned to do, and I have no problem telling you that I have never in my life operated a riding lawnmower or a weedwacker, and I have two acres to maintain.
BEST. INVENTION. EVER.
And, from my favorite food book:
Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.
I’ll heat and eat when I can’t face of cooking when I’m hungry, but, I, too, get depressed when I see grocery carts filled to the brim with food-like products, when people think Sunny D is real juice, and that a Hug and chips is an okay breakfast. Shelf-stable food-like products reallllly scare me. Think shelf-stable bacon, pepperoni, Velveeta. I was once at a not-so-nice market and saw what looked like Kraft singles (also not really cheese to begin with) sitting in the refrigerated aisle, but not in the fridge. Just on a shelf. They were called, “Sandwich singles” and had a measy 2g protein in each slice. And there was, aside for a miniscule amount of whey, no cheese-like product contained within.
It frightens me that even when people think they’re buying real food — cheese, meat, juice — they’ve been duped. My mother-in-law, who subsists on chick peas, salads, lean chicken, grapes and grape tomatoes, and never touches chocolate, still buys Velveeta. I don’t think she knows it isn’t cheese.
It saddens me. Imperfect as I am, and as much as I aspire to shop smarter, eat better, be more responsible in my choices, I know there are those who just don’t have a clue.
1. You are NOT going to reveal your toaster’s crazy end here? I am totes curious!
2. WHY for the love of Pete do grocery stores close some of the self-checkout lane? I do not get it.
3. I love looking at what other shoppers buy – it’s so interesting! Sometimes I’m all, “What the hell are you going to make with THAT?”
4. We eat an unseemly amount of boxed/canned/frozen stuff around her. Exhausted husband + many nights when I eat alone = quick, easy meals that may or may not require the microwave. However, we ALWAYS fill at least half our grocery cart with fresh fruits and veggies. It’s all about balance!
5. I love your leftover disposal plan. We have “fancy” (ie, not actually fancy) glass dishes for leftovers, so I can’t just toss them in the trash. But I hate cleaning them out – it’s just gross.
Life of a Doctor’s Wife´s last [type] ..Do or Don’t: Friends in the Workplace
I feel your pain, I am STILL toaster-less, no crispy bread for my until it gets cold enough outside to be able to stand using the oven again. I don’t buy pre-made foods but I am regretting it this week; I’ve been sick and feeling too crummy to cook my own soup, so I’ve been wishing for that nasty canned and frozen stuff the last couple of days!
gail´s last [type] ..Time to think
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