Someday, you will wonder if you’re worthy of your dreams. You’ll wonder whether the universe has enough magic and miracles to share with you, you’ll see the vision of your own fulfilled life and ache with desire and hope while struggling with doubt and fear. Everyone does; even and especially the people you admire.
If we’ve done our job at all, we’ll be on that list, though I’m not too naive to think that we won’t be second and third, or third and fourth. Probably right under some cultural figure(s), the selection of which will amuse, amaze, and perhaps even horrify us. Yes, you will have a preference between us, that’s normal and good- it’s an important part of realizing who you are and who you want to be.
In those moments of cold, sharp doubt, at three in the morning, when the shadows are menacing and your fear sticks to the ceiling like thick, dark clouds, maybe these words can provide you some solace.
Your very existence proves the full potential of the universe and its miracles.
For thirty-two years, your Daddy and I lay in our respective beds in our respective locations, staring at the ceiling, dreaming of you and wondering if you would ever be real.
He wondered if he would ever find a woman capable of loving him the way he needs and deserves to be loved, someone he could be proud to devote his life to, someone he could trust to care for both of you with wisdom and tenderness.
I wondered if there was a man in the world who could love me with the same honor and grace my own father does, someone who would provide and care for us without attaching some expectation of subservience. A man who could lead a family in the name of love and growth instead of fear and control.
Love is always a miracle in its own right, but we weren’t seeking someone to share a life with. We were both looking for the right person to create life with.
You are made of ferocious love; a force so powerful that it swept our shores like a tidal wave, dragging anything unbecoming of the new landscape to the ancient depths of the sea.
Fear and doubt are unavoidable aspects of the human condition, but I want you to remember that the wrenching restlessness is a sign that you are out of your element. You were created in faith, hope and love. That’s why the darkness feels so foreign and frightening.
Step into the light, where you belong.
The warmth and illumination of our love and guidance is your birthright, and we are just the beginning. There are enough friends and relatives taking an interest in you to populate a small country. They all have some valuable perspective or resource to offer.
Listen to everyone, but make your own decisions.
You don’t always need an answer. Sometimes the question is enough for awhile, until clarity arrives. Treat yourself and others with respect in the meantime and things will work out.
Please know that whoever you turn out to be, however you leave your mark on this world, you are always a miracle to us.
I could pretend to have some control over your words and actions, but I’ve never cared for pretense. The best I can do is consistently create abundance or misery in your life based on your compliance to my will.
Fair warning: I’m really very good at that. Ask around.
You’ve only existed for six weeks, and we already cannot wait to meet you. Every second dinner, every mid-afternoon nap, all eleventy billion trips to the bathroom, even the crying spells, they are all tiny miracles.
Just like you.
April 4, 2012 16 Comments