Category — gettin' smart

Have I told you lately how much I hate waiting, and how impatient I am?

At this very moment, I’m waiting for the sun to melt enough of the six or eight inches of snow in my driveway so that I can go to class tonight. Whether or not it will clear up enough remains to be seen. It looks promising- the sun is shining, the wind is blowing- these are all very positive signs. I don’t know right now, though, if there will be enough sun, if it will get warm enough, if it will be safe enough for me to forge ahead with my plans.

This particular situation in no way parallels any other situation in my life. At all. Certainly not a situation in which I’m a little more emotionally invested, or one in which I am so anxious to know the outcome that if it were a book I would read the last page today, or at least skip ahead a few chapters just to see where the characters are a little further along in the plot.  Not a parallel to be had, no sir, not at all…

Of course I realize that waiting is important. Necessary. An act of self preservation, of caution and prudence and maturity. You don’t take a cake out of the oven before it’s baked through, you don’t take a fiberglass and aluminum two wheel drive paid for car out if it’s going to be icy. That is when things get messy; when accidents happen, when poor decisions are made, property is damaged and people get hurt. Plus there is no cake, just a gooey mess that might give you worms. No one wants worms, especially when they are so easily prevented by just letting the cake bake till that toothpick comes out clean and you’re ready for frosting.

Some people are able to relish the waiting- they love the smell of a cake filling the house as it bakes; they want to want that first piece of cake so badly that they’re drooling before they cut it.

I’m the girl that scrapes every last bit of leftover batter out of the bowl with the spatula, eats the frosting with a tall glass of milk while she works, and has a wicked stomachache by the time the oven timer rings.

Oh baby don’t it feel like heaven right now
Don’t it feel like something from a dream
Yeah I’ve never known nothing quite like this
Don’t it feel like tonight might never be again
We know better than to try and pretend
Baby no one could’a ever told me ’bout this
I said yeah yeah

The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part

-Tom Petty “The Waiting”

The eternal debate rages on about the actual end of the decade, but personally, my mind is made up.

Resolutions are easily made and easily broken. I’ve gone down that road before, and this year, the only resolution-type thing I’ve got is getting up on time. Mostly because it just got way out of control last year.

Goals, however, are another matter, and I’ve given mine a lot of thought. I’m on the right path- most of these are obvious and unchanged. Keep working on my degree (long term), get into Western Carolina University (short term). Keep my job (short term) and continue to position myself via my performance and shrewd politics for a steady upward path in my company (long term). Keep writing (short term), while dreaming and planning for the time in my life when I can pursue more opportunities in it (long term). Have as much fun as possible (short term), while keeping my eyes and heart open to a future with someone (way long term).

My only hard and fast goal for this year is to apply for admission and be accepted to Western Carolina University for the fall term. First, I must conquer my x = death, pestilence and famine issues. Second, I must summon transcripts and certificates from three or four different places. Third, I believe I have to write an essay. Fourth, I’m pretty sure there’s a strip search and a urine sample required. It is quite the undertaking, and as luck would have it, my only class for the spring term is French, and it’s a campus/internet hybrid. Here’s to hoping that scoring A’s in Intermediate Accounting and Entrepreneurship assured that my GPA meets their requirements, which if memory serves is 3.5 or better.

Execution has become a problem for me in the past year, and I’ve grown so very tired of putting out fires and flying by the seat of my pants.

My theme for 2010: Be Good to Yourself.

Not in that have another piece of cake, you really can afford that purchase, you deserve a mental health day type of way.

More like getting enough sleep, having enough fun, eating higher quality food, making a point of being active without torturing myself about it, doing what I’m supposed to when I’m supposed to so I’m not so stressed out waiting for something to slip through the cracks.

I’ve survived, and now it’s time to thrive.

Don’t you think?