Category — rhythm and blues

I can make a fairly compelling argument that the world is shrinking as fast as my gmail storage limit increases; tiny incremental changes that accumulate quietly until some event reveals it as a material amount. Where once I feared this, I’m proud to say now that I’ve built my life around it. When something seems impossible I turn it over to the same magic that’s already created more love and success than my heart can hold.

You never let me down, and that sensation of being so tenderly cradled by a community bursting with so much talent, skill, wisdom and passion sustains me in my darkest moments. The smallest acts of kindness are as precious as the grand gestures; not every mountain can be moved swiftly. Those of you that have spent years raising callouses on your hands one shovelful at a time have rightfully earned my undying loyalty.

If there exists one value that my parents instilled above all others, it was that we are put on this Earth to love each other while we’re here. When I expressed my gratitude to my father for all of their sacrifices, gladly made on my behalf, and my fear that I couldn’t ever reciprocate, his response carved deep grooves in my soul.

You know how you pay it back? You do for your sister, you do for your baby cousins, you take the help that comes your way with humble gratitude, and you pay it forward. Every chance you get to bring your resources to bear for someone else, you do that. That’s how you repay me, by starting the cycle over again.

My father never turned anyone down for a meal- it was a challenge for your Grandma sometimes, to stretch the menu for unexpected company. But he never let a soul leave that house hungry, you know, no matter who they were or what he had to share, and I’ve always tried to live that way, and I think that’s why I’ve always had support when I’ve needed it, because I’ve always given it when I possibly could.

So, if I have an opportunity to cook for you, to rework your resume, to show you some measure of comfort or ease of hardship, I’m delighted to do it. I consider it a blessed opportunity to put just a fraction of the love and concern I’ve received back out into the universe; a calling to honor what I’ve been given by sowing some hopeful seeds for another soul.

I’m not the girl that always keeps up as well as she should with personal correspondence and social visits. Despite my reputation otherwise, I don’t always have the right words to express how I feel about each of you personally. My introversion and mercurial emotional weather create artificial distance in many of my relationships; my thoughts and feelings are sometimes so loud that they drown out the voices of others, no matter how fierce my affection for you.

Please know that I hold you all in my heart, that your love and kindness are the stars in my night sky. Thought does not translate into communication near often enough, and I’m working on that, but I am always here, loving you and wishing you all the strength and peace that I’ve found in your friendship.

My love is a rock.

and as you’re searching for peace in your world,
you may find yourself spinning around and around and around,
while the pain you’ve endured only serves to make you surer
of the strength that you’ve found, and then

my love is a rock, an immovable force
anywhere that you are, my love is right here
with any tick of the clock life can change its course
but my love will not, my love is a rock

-reo speedwagon, “my love is a rock”

…with heartfelt gratitude to Nicole for the prompt….

Choose to be better, not bitter. Leave the losses, failures and mistakes of the past behind; you aren’t the girl who suffered those heartaches. You’re the girl that learned from them and triumphed. Keep that without clinging to the haunting details of your pain.

Realize that looking too far down the road is just a sneaky way of looking over your shoulder. Live by your beliefs and values in the present and take heart- this is all you can and should do for tomorrow.

Honor your intuition. It isn’t paranoia, though it might feel that way when you obsess and over-think things. Let your feelings prompt the question instead of trying to answer it on your own.

Value your creative life as much as you value your business life, in recognition that they both provide sustenance necessary for your survival.  Money spent for travel has the highest return on investment of any discretionary purchase, high enough to warrant liberation from the discretionary column.

Stop continuing the work of people who want you to feel small and undeserving to serve their own needs and fears. No, seriously, stop. Because you know damn well they try to trick you into playing small and low out of sheer terror for who you might become. You’re a force of nature. Memorize the affection and appreciation in peoples’ faces when they’ve said this to you, and own it, already.

Understand that punishing yourself for receiving is the exact opposite of humility; guilt holds no more virtue than entitlement.

Keep a balance between your need for solitude and your tendency to hide behind it. Go out into the world before the walls start to close in on you at home.

Absolve yourself for failing to forgive those who’ve betrayed you. Accept as your penance: not begrudging them the compassion of others.

Remember that all love is a gift, and that any time you are working to earn it instead of honor it, something is very, very wrong.

When a man asks you to see only him, take the opportunity to share your expectations. Explain what commitment means to you, because most people do not comprehend it on the same level. Do not allow yourself to be put on the shelf one. more. time. by someone who isn’t capable of sticking around. Let the challenge of winning you over become the first they face in the relationship, so you can make an educated decision.

Just so we’re clear: if they are anything else than willing, capable and utterly devoted, your decision should be to get back out on the dance floor and enjoy yourself. You’ve lived on crumbs for far too long. You know in your heart you’re happier on your own than with someone who settles for a pale rendition of partnership.

Wear high heels and avoid men who are uncomfortable with a level gaze. You’ll save yourself a lot of time and irritation.

Stop excluding your own body from the awe and regard you have for the rest of nature, and always tend to it with at least the loving care you show your pets and plants. Sleep when you’re tired. Eat. Play. Be strong and healthy. See yourself through the eyes of others when the mirror is too unkind. Throw the fucking scale out. Throw. it. out. Do your pants fit? There you go, no scale necessary. If you really want a number to obsess over, test your blood sugar. Yeah, I thought so.

Make more time for your people. They miss you. So you hate the phone. Text. Write. Visit. Send cookies. Do whatever makes you happy, so long as it demonstrates how much they mean to you. Do this often and at regular intervals.

There are two things in this world that provide both security and freedom. One is love, the other is money. Be a good steward of both and you’ll find contentment.

Resist the lure of cattiness and drama. Time and energy are too precious to waste on anyone that provokes it.

You’re an entrepreneur now, and that means that the work/life balance is a murky shade of gray. This a huge change from corporate life. It’s also the very reason that you want so very much to succeed at this. Work is life, and life is work. The right work does more than earn a living. It makes a life. The marriage of these two functions is the summit of self-actualization. A touch of altitude sickness is perfectly normal, but don’t let it overtake you. Just breathe, be present, and keep climbing.

It wouldn’t hurt you to ask for help once in awhile. I’m just saying. It only means that you are sweet and smart enough to surround yourself with people who shore up your weaknesses. Just like using Google Maps on your phone, it keeps you from heading in the wrong direction needlessly.