Category — tmi thursday

I don’t know that this is worthy of Miss LiLu’s link love, but I thought I would take it as an opportunity to tell you things I normally wouldn’t.

I started my period today.

I gained 13 pounds in a week. Or my scale is broken.

Hook or crook, I will lose at least half of those 13 pounds by the time my period is over. Watch me.

The ex is taking custody of Adicus next Friday, and I’ve been a blubbering mess all day because of it.

It appears that both the appearance of my skin and my general outlook on life are kept in good order by sex. Which explains why my complexion is dull and I’m “meh” in general.

For those reasons among numerous and obvious other reasons, I would really like to measure my sexual activity (that includes other parties) in increments of weeks or even days rather than months.

Lucy and Adicus both have worms and I’m scared to death I’ll get them.

My legs are covered in flea bites.

In 2010, instead of implementing a blanket benefit maximum for mental health services, they will be covered (or not) based on the same criteria set for physical illnesses. I am sitting here hoping the crazy is good enough to keep me in covered therapy for the whole year. Which is a weird feeling.

I probably pretty much just screwed (ha! bad pun) myself out of correcting the sex life situation by admitting everything else.

I’m not sure I really care about that. Let’s face it, if a guy can’t handle this post? He can’t handle me.

There you have it. All my yuckies. Tomorrow is Friday, and I might just shed a few tears of gratitude when I get up in the morning.

Happy TMI.

I went through my archives, and I can’t see where I’ve told this story before, so here goes.

When I was a little girl, changing the kitty litter was one of my chores. One week, I was late getting to it, and Daddy insisted that it be done before he got home from work the next day or my was gonna be grass. Of course, I woke up late and had to rush. I dumped the box into the trash bag and went to fill it back up….

We had no kitty litter. What’s a girl to do? I can’t leave the box empty! What can I use to put in there until Daddy and I could get some more kitty litter?

Back in the day, Daddy shopped at Pace (just like Sams), and so in my frantic searching for a replacement, I came across a twin box of Grape Nuts. Perfect. Right size, right texture, there’s enough here. It will do in a pinch, and I am certainly in a pinch.

So I ripped open both bags and filled the kitty litter with Grape Nuts, and skipped off to the bus stop, thoroughly satisfied with my solution.

When Dad got home from work that night, I told him that I changed the kitty litter, but we have to run out and get more litter. Of course this confused him. How did I change the litter if we were out, and if I just changed it, why would we need to run out right now? So, proud as a peacock, I explained the situation. We headed off the the  store and picked up some Tidy Cat and when we got back home, Dad said I needed to go ahead and change it again, because Grape Nuts have no odor control.

Have you ever let Grape Nuts just sit in milk? Do you know what happens? They absorb it all, and when they do, they swell up into a big pile of mush.

I took the lid off of the kitty litter, and there it was.

Grape Nuts mountain, a la cat piss, with a few turds for presentation. The mountain of mush flowed over the edges of the litter pan and on to the carpet. I called Dad for reinforcements. He came into the room, looked at the litter overflowing with swollen cat piss Grape Nuts and turds. That was when he bust out laughing, shaking his head as he went to get the shop vac. We cleaned it up, gagging and laughing the whole time, and then Dad had to clean out the shop vac. It smelled like wheaty toasted cat waste, and was so mushy and gummy that we ended up having to let a few spots dry on the carpet for a few days and just cutting it out once it had dried to a ammonia and grain cement type mixture.

No one in my immediate family has eaten Grape Nuts since.

Happy TMI!