cattails.me » Uncategorized http://cattails.me the crazy stops here...every fifteen minutes Fri, 03 Sep 2010 04:59:47 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 en hourly 1 Vegas: By the Numbers http://cattails.me/2010/05/vegas-by-the-numbers/ http://cattails.me/2010/05/vegas-by-the-numbers/#comments Tue, 25 May 2010 12:55:57 +0000 verybadcat http://cattails.me/?p=2317 12- times any random guy said “wait, how many girls?!” when I explained what brought me to Vegas.

6- total flights R and I were listed on but did not get seats for.

27014- our room number at the Flamingo and the approximate number of times one of us said “this room is a total shitstorm”.

4- the SPF in my banana boat tanning oil.

2- miles walked to procure aloe vera gel for that pink stage I must go through to get a tan.

6- times I told an abridged version of my life story.

5- people I wish I had spent more time with.

36- consecutive hours without sleep. (Saturday morning to Sunday afternoon.)

2- times we said “fuck it, let’s just order room service.”

11,000- miles walked (approximate estimation).

5- number of epic guys we ate dinner with Thursday night.

40- gallons of vodka consumed (approximate estimation).

8- new cell phone numbers in my phone as a result of this trip.

2- adorable Canadian men who entertained me on our Vegas-Atlanta flight.

15- percentage discount offered at the Flamingo through September 30th, 2010. They took excellent care of us, those Flamingo people. Just use the offer code SINCITY when you book online.

TBD- hours it will take my feet to resume their normal size.

100- percentage chance that I will attend another meetup if it is at all possible.

]]> http://cattails.me/2010/05/vegas-by-the-numbers/feed/ 8 Our House http://cattails.me/2007/03/our-house/ http://cattails.me/2007/03/our-house/#comments Sun, 18 Mar 2007 16:05:00 +0000 verybadcat http://verybadcat.wordpress.com/2007/03/18/our-house/ We bought our first house last summer. It’s wonderful. We love the privacy, the permanence, having a yard, a driveway, and a basement. If only it came with a maid!

Yes, cleaning is an on-going process, and moments of total cleanliness are fleeting. It seems, though, that we have monkeys living in the basement that lay in wait until we fall asleep. In the middle of the night, they creep upstairs and put clumps of assorted pet hair in the corners of the floor, piles of snot rags and empty cigarette packs on the end tables, hair in the bathtubs- they trash the place!

I love a clean house. I actually don’t mind the cleaning part. I find it, um, cleansing. Putting things in order, vacuuming, mopping, scrubbing and dusting. The house smells so good afterwards, and everything is where it should be, and nothing is where it shouldn’t be.

For about two seconds.

By the end of the night, the lemony-bleachy smell has faded and the monkeys are downstairs rubbing their hands together, shaking in delight at the prospect of a perfectly clean home to destroy. Resistance is futile. I think their true motive is to get me to play their game. They want vigilance- they want me to spend my nights and weekends beating back their handiwork, my life dedicated to trying, in vain, to stay one step ahead of the monkeys.

I refuse to take the bait. I will not play your monkey games! I will ignore your pet hair tumbleweed, as it crosses the living room in front of me. I am invincible from the dust you paint on all of my surfaces! I scoff at your overflowing trash can! Go on, little monkeys, play your games!

I’ll be putting my energy where I can gain some ground- my houseplants.

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